Monday was the big day. Without revealing TOO much about the company, it’s one of Canada’s larger companies that just made a few billion dollars last quarter despite it being a very crappy economy. Yeah… billions. With a B. The position itself is an 18 month internship which will have me performing at all levels at the company with the final 9 months being specialized within the supply chain side of things.

The interview itself went fairly well, I think. The person I interviewed for was very friendly and seemed easy enough to talk to which is something I don’t normally get in interviews. I’ve got personality and trying to tone that down for the stiff and rigid is always a bit daunting for me. Hopefully it wasn’t a huge disaster!

Following that, a group exercise. It seemed as if they had taken a candidate from each stream and lumped them together to perform under pressure. The assignment seemed fairly easy, meshing well with the different personalities was not. Well… ok, that’s not entirely true. The group could have done very well had it not been for one overbearing person. I think we held our own when it came to present and I’m hoping that part went decently as well.

The next part is the waiting game. Hopefully it won’t be TOO long before they decide on something. I could really use this opportunity!

Following the interview, I went to the gym. I went with the intention of avoiding the half-assed attempt of last time and really get things done. I’d like to think it didn’t go too badly!

Arriving at the gym, the plan was to do 20 minutes of cardio, leg work, 20 more minutes of cardio, some upper body stuff, and finished off with a final round of cardio. Things didn’t go exactly as planned.

The first 20 minutes of cardio wasn’t that bad and, thanks to putting some new music on my ipod, seemingly flew by. I was happy with this! The leg work was challenging but I was quite happy knowing that I got it all done. I was able to fit in about 25 crunches which I seem to be feeling today! I did eventually get around to doing another 20 minutes on the bike but that was really it. No upper body stuff. No other cardio… I was just kinda meh about it afterward.

The upside is that I did manage to do a respectable 40 minutes of cardio along with some leg work. I even threw in those crunches which wasn’t bad. The downside is that I still felt like something was lacking. I wasn’t overly pleased with my performance but that’ll be taken care of the next time I go. More on that in a second.

My depression has been in check recently. I haven’t been worked up by trivial things and have seemingly overcome the constant melancholy. For some reason, however, last night wasn’t easy. I don’t know what exactly triggered it, but I felt so miserable and alone that I just decided to go to bed early. I went to bed approximately 8.30p and woke up incredibly early today. Ugh! Do I feel better? Meh. I would say I’m not AS miserable… well, I wasn’t… until I decided to check up on something.

While trying to find work, I’ve applied for unemployment and have been waiting for them to sort things out on their end. It’s taken them over a month but they finally have gotten around to assessing my claim. As a result of not working the required number of hours, I don’t qualify. Therefore money’s going to be even tighter until something ends up working out for me.

If this internship is a go, I’ll be broke until January. If I don’t get this, then it may end up being a little longer.

To say that I’m worried would be an extreme understatement. Ugh. I’m full of so much anxiety that I almost feel paralyzed by it. It’s ridiculous.

Tonight I am going to the gym with Jerkface. She wants to hit up one of their classes which I’m not really feeling up to. Instead, I plan on doing a ton of cardio and possibly some relaxing in the hot tub that they have. I’m hoping I can sit back, close my eyes, and just relax. The last few weeks have been hell and I hope I can sweat out everything tonight.

Still to come: my theory on why I eat the way I do.